


White Noise

by SeniorBro



Category: Original Work
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Gen, News column, Old Writing, Original work - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 05:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17094905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeniorBro/pseuds/SeniorBro
Summary: Part of a column I did about a year ago when I was doing that kind of stuff. It ends a bit abruptly, I think, but I cut out some parts that I thought were unimportant. It's just a feelings jam about how I felt unheard (well, still do these days). Anyways, I hope you enjoy it. -Seniorbro





	White Noise

It’s about 10 at night, everybody has just gone to bed leaving the usually lively house silent and dark. Two dogs have invaded my bed and are already snoring peacefully. I’m the only one up. 

I spend most of my night watching Star Trek on my phone and lost in my own thoughts; wandering aimlessly from thought to thought as memories of my day came into focus. Every face I saw passes through my mind, reminding me of conversations and emotions. The only memories that stick out are disappointments. 

The majority of my day was struggling to communicate with peers, family, and friends. My words seemingly fall silent on their ears, unwilling to listen because they deem my conveyed thoughts unnecessary or useless. My voice becomes incomprehensible, and my words turn into static the moment I need to express myself. 

Breaking away from my thoughts, I see Captain James T. Kirk on my screen. Everyone is listening to him, practically hanging onto every word he says as if he speaks nothing but wisdom. I wish I could hold an audience like that. I wish I were important enough to listen to and old enough to be taken seriously. 

I want my words to have an impact on people around me. Contrary to the stigma around high schoolers, I’m not wasting my time with meaningless remarks. I want to inform and discuss and share my thoughts on countless things, to have the power that sparks inspiration in everyone I meet. How can I accomplish that when my words are viewed as insignificant. 

I turn off and put my phone down. My eyes can barely stay open, but my mind is still running wild. I go through a long list as to why my words are unimportant- but all I can think of is my age. All anyone sees is a baby whose words are nothing but babblings about millennial things. 

I think back to Captain Kirk. I wondered if in his world he ever felt like me. Felt too young for critical thinking, too small to make a big impression. I wondered how he would have overcome those thoughts; how he became so confident in his words. I wonder if he believes that maturity is a state of mind, not a number of years. I wonder if he would listen to my thoughts. 

I chose to grow up years ago, believing that’s what people wanted of me. I decided to grow up so I could change the world with my words. I know now it will take time, but sometimes the adult in me struggles to be patient. Sometimes I want to run when the world walks.


End file.
